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Archive for the ‘relationships’ Category

Married to a Ninja

You are probably asking yourself if I am being serious right now. Here’s the thing, my hubby has the knack of disappearing and reappearing so when it happens the kids and I call it “him being a ninja”. 

What are we talking about? How does someone disappear and reappear? We haven’t figured that out. Here’s an example: 

Hubby goes through the door from the house into the garage (this is a door clearly visible by the kitchen, dining room and living room). A few minutes I go out to the garage to ask him something and he’s not in the garage. I come in the house and he’s coming out of our bedroom. No one saw him leave the garage and come in the house. 

Now I could understand if it was just me but everyone in the house not seeing him? Everyone has experienced this with him which is how he got the ninja nickname. He of course thinks we are all crazy. 

This is just one of those weird things that make you go hmmm. Anyone else experience “ninja stealth” moments in their life? Just curious. 

The power of reciprocity 

rec·i·proc·i·ty (noun)

the practice of exchanging things with others for mutual benefit, especially privileges granted by one country or organization to another.

I did a live Facebook video the other day and I talked about reciprocity. I had been “triggered” by a question from someone in my industry and I found myself allowing that frustration to boil to the top and be verbalized. 

So here is the basis of my frustration- when you support people, their businesses etcetera and do not get supported in return it can make you feel very frustrated. Especially when you’ve been supporting some of these people for years. You begin to question “why you are unworthy of their support”. 

However, I want to get off that soapbox and speak to the concept of reciprocity. Going off the definition above reciprocity is an exchange that is mutually beneficial. I firmly believe that there is enough for all of us in this world to have all that we need so I get rather frustrated over “greediness”. So, the idea of supporting each other, referring each other for our special skills makes sense to me. 

If you’ve been ready my blog you know that  I think we all have special skills and talents.  I think those things are our gift to the world and if I support you in those things I am, on a grander sense, supporting the wholeness of the world. If I am greedy, thinking that just because I can learn how to do carpentry that I should do it over allowing someone who is a master craftsman at carpentry do the job then I am blocking both my growth and success and theirs. 

It doesn’t hurt to exchange services with others in a mutually beneficial situation, to support those around us, and take enjoyment in watching our family, friends, and neighbors succeed. It actually makes us better people. It makes them better people. 

I may not always receive reciprocity for the faith, support and loyalty I give out but I’m not going to let that stop me. How we move through this life is up to each one of us individually. You make your choice. For me, I am opening my heart and mind to others, willingly giving and hoping that they will reciprocate. 

Average of Five

Motivational speaker Jim Rohn famously said that “we are the average of the five people we spend the most time with.” A mathematical way to work that out is to take the income of your five closest friends and then divide by 5. It usually comes out to or close to your yearly income. The theory is that if you want to increase your wealth start to move in a circle of people that challenge you to “rise” to their level. 

On the flip side of that, if you aren’t strong in who you are and where you are going, your friends have he ability to “lower” you to their level even if you are the biggest earner in the group. All in all it’s a conversation about these theee things:

  1. Don’t let who you associate with being you down to their level. 
  2. Are you content being the average of your friends?
  3. If you want to grow and increase then find a group of mentors who are living   In the lifestyle and financial bracket you desire and spend the majority of your time with them. 

That doesn’t mean if you are on welfare and barely making ends meet that you try and hang out with Richard Branson. There are a lot of steps between where you are and where you want to be. 

I didn’t believe this theory when I first heard it it I did the math and it was almost spot on. I also have checked when my finances are ebbing to see who I am spending time with, and yes, it was proven again. I’ve surrounded myslelf with people I would class as doing better than me and realized that they motivate me to be better, do better, stretch and grow. 

It’s an interesting concept to ponder. Try it out and see what you think. You might be surprised by what experience in the process. 

Happy discovery!

Disconnect to really connect

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

We were blessed with an opportunity to spend Friday night – Monday morning at a friend’s property up in the mountains in Darrington. It was an opportunity to completely disconnect from our busy lives and just be. It was awesome.

Our biggest question over the weekend was wether to get in the pool or air by the bonfire. It was delightful. There was the beauty of nature all around us and the joy of good friends. We ate, we drank, we took mid-day naps, we laughed, we met new people, we swam, we loved on dogs, a cat and several kids.

The best part, which I wasn’t sure about, was our phones not working. I’ve become quite accustomed to being connected to the world through my little hand held device. However, after the first hour, I didn’t miss the outside world. I didn’t miss checking my emails, following all my WhatsApp posts, all my social media stuff. I actually went an entire day not even knowing where my husband had plugged my phone in to recharge for when we left.

Giving ourselves time to disconnect actually allowed us to connect with our friends and with each other. It was the best Memorial Day weekend I’ve spent in years. The best part of it is we have been invited to come back any weekend we want through the summer and early fall. Just the thought of all that relaxation has brightened my world.

If given a chance to disconnect from the world for awhile, do it. You will be happy you did.

Choose Wisely 

Choices are neither good nor bad. We define them by our own internal filters. Society, family upbringing, religious beliefs,  political beliefs, education, life experiences, all of these things form these internal filters. The thing is, once our filters get formed they almost never get swapped out for cleaner, clearer filters. We just aren’t aware that we are living our entire life through them. If we were aware on a conscious level of these filters then we would pay more attention to how they effect our choices, attitudes, opinions and beliefs. We would upgrade them. Change them. 

When I was 17 I heard this man speak (for the life of me I can’t remember his name)  and he said something that has stayed with me ever since. “All Life is Choice but not All Choices are Life.”  I think of that every time I am faced with difficult decisions. I have recently found myself in a situation where I had an option to respond to someone’s life choices that I don’t actually understand and I knew I had to be aware of my choice in how I responded. One way would lead to healing and acceptance and one way would lead to anger and divisiveness. I was entitled to my own choices, my own reactions but in that I have the power to choose the option that brings Life to the relationship of me and this other person. 

I’ve raised my kids since they were little that life is all about choice. The choices we make and the consequences of those choices. It’s was the best way for me give them a foundation on how to get through life as a productive, functioning adult. To stand up and take responsibility for their choices. Whether they define them as good or bad choices. 

There is this line in Indiana Jones, The Last Crusade where the Grail Knight tells them to “choose wisely”. Of course the bad guy doesn’t, gets consumed in a ghastly way and then the Grail Knight says, “he chose….poorly”. When Indiana chooses and drinks from the cup the Grail Knight says, “you chose wisely”. I fee like that is the conversation hat goes on in my head all the time. Some days my choices consume me and I know I’ve chosen poorly. The goal is to have he voice in my head saying, “you chose wisely.” more often then not. 

So here we are, living life and yes, it’s chaotic and messy but we have the power to choose how we move through it and what filters we allow ourselves to see the world through- my suggestion to you- CHOOSE WISELY!

Deja vu glitch

I would say that a majority of the people I know have seen the movie The Matrix, starring Keanu Reeves. I just recently learned that there is an entire online community of people who hash out the meanings and symbolism of the trilogy. Who knew?!

If you have watched the movie you know the scene where Neo sees the black cat do something and seconds later sees it do the same thing again. He thinks its deja vu. (Insert deja vu definition here: having seen/experienced a situation before) he is told by Trinity that it happens when there is a glitch in the Matrix. (Insert my interpretation of the Matrix: the illusion of the environment around us keeping us from the truth). Patience…..there is a point to all of this…..

I feel like I am in the middle of my own deja vu Matrix glitch. For the past two years  my life has been stuck in this limbo place. No movement forward and if anything just sinking deeper into the mire. At the start of the year things dramatically changed and for the past four months I have watched things improve… the mire becoming solid and turning into steps as we climbed out of the place we were in. Sounds great right?

And the black cat walks in front of me…then I see it again. Not literally of course but a situation happened (the black cat) and I find myself back in the place I was in before the start of the year. My own personal glitch in the Matrix and I’m left sitting here trying to figure out how the hell I am going to find the red pill. 

“You take the blue pill, the story ends. You wake up in your bed and believe whatever you want to believe. You take the red pill, you stay in Wonderland, and I show you how deep the rabbit hole goes.” Or as I interpret it, you get to see the truth and become a master of your environment, an aware creator of your life. 

I’m tired of repeating this pattern in my life. Bone tired. The funny thing is that from outward appearance the place I find myself in isn’t of my own making but rather someone else’s. However, I am a firm believer that we do co-create our reality with the divine so…… I have to own this is mine too. 

So here is my thought to ponder… how do you see past the illusion that seems so real to the truth of what is possible? Not for a minute but permanently. You know, the “I took the red pill and I can never go back” kind of permanence. The I will never “deja vu” this experience in my life again truth. I logically know what is needed. But how does one co-create with another person if they are not on the same page? Same mindset? Same truth? Same vision for something different? The struggle is real. Far too real. 

So here I am….following the white rabbit…looking for the red pill. 

The Counterpoint Brigade

Life is crazy. Hectic. Chaotic. You can have absolutely perfect days and days you barely make it through. All in the same day even. A good friends brother had a saying that I’ve adopted…. “This is life and I’m living it.” It is not good or bad. It simply is what is. For every breath, the Now in front of us is life. 

I try to remember that but I am as susceptible as every other person in this world to the experiences of life.  I fall into the whirlwind that is my life and get sucked along, trying to keep my mind focused on Truth while feeling totally out of control to the craziness that is my life. 

But I have a secret…..

Drum roll please…… enter the Counterpoint Brigade. Uh, what? I have collected into my life these amazing men and women who are by description:  wild, crazy, zany, fearless, strong-willed, opinionated, over-the-top, and experts at life experience. They are the people I go spend time with when I need to “get my head straight ” and “my heart figured out”.  

They don’t even understand how much they effect me. Spending a hour with any one of them transforms my outlook on life- every single time. No kidding! Spending time with one or more together is like bathing in a pool of sanity when everything else in my world is insane. 

Want to know the funny part? I think we laugh more and can be the weirdest  around each other. Most people would think we were crazy people but I guess that’s why I call them the Counterpoint Brigade. What seems one way from the outside is really the complete opposite.

Some of them might know they fall into this group but I’ve never openly acknowledged it. I just know when I need them and i know it was right when I walk away from an encounter with them focused, happy, and ready to tackle “life” again with all its crazy aspects. 

These people are the unsung heroes of my life but I literally wouldn’t be who I am without them and I hope that to someone out there that I fill this role in their life too. I hope that people are the better for knowing me and that when people walk away from an encounter with me that their life is touched, refocused, balanced, energized. 

May we all touch each other’s lives in such a meaningful way. 

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