Creative expression through the written word

Archive for March, 2017


We all grieve differently 

It’s my birthday….

So today is my birthday and funny as it sounds I am far from home on a road trip with one of my girlfriends. We spent the day exploring the area of Montana we are currently in. 

I have had no cell service or internet all day but when I have had sporadic connection I have been flooded with well wishes from friends and family and my heart is overwhelmed with the love that has been poured out my way. 

It is a reminder to me that I have a very blessed life and that I know some truly amazing people. I may be turning 48 but I don’t care. I have lived a good life and I am blessed to be loved by so many people. 

So today, I have looked in the mirror and wishes myself a happy birthday and a blessed year and then I acknowledged how wonderful my life really is. 

Thank you to everyone who is a part of my life journey and happy 48th birthday to me. 

Spring Love

Spring is a lovely time of year and I enjoy the way the world seems to come back to life around me. It’s the time of newness. I love hat spring brings and here are a few of my favorites:

  1. Spring flowers! Of course this had to top the list because this is the sign of freshness and growth. Beautiful little flowers poking through the earth to lighten and brighten our days.
  2. Spring cleaning. Yes, weird I know but I actually like doing a deep clean of my home at this time of year. Its also hen we get outside after a long winter and start prepping our yard for the summer.
  3. Daylight savings time. I love having daylight longer. I love that there is still light out when the work day is done. I love the lightness it brings to my life.
  4. Artichokes, Asparagus & Beets – YUM! my family may not be all gung ho about these vegetables but I LOVE them and they are in abundance at this time of year. I can’t get enough of them.
  5. Warmer temperatures are starting to be part of our days. It may still be crisp and cool but the warmth of sun shines during the day and man do I love the vitamin D.
  6. Pedicure season starts! Time for some foot love opened toed shoes are beginning to make their way out of the closet.

Its a great time of year. I love the saying that March comes in like a lion and goes out like a lamb. Welcome Spring!

Always learning

Today has been a jumble of emotions but through it all, I have learned a lot. My day started with a phone call from a friend’s wife. Her husband, our friend, passed away last night and she wanted us to know tight away. We’ve been working closely with him all through the past year. It was an emotional blow and I felt myself sinking into heartbreak and sadness. Tears flowing I had to ask myself how on Earth I was going to pull it together enough to enjoy the rest of my vacation that I had just started. Thank God for friends who keep me distracted. 

The thing is that today I have learned or maybe reminded might be a better way of saying it, that some things are more important than others. 

  1. Life passes and you absolutely do not know when your time is up so live each day fully. Don’t put off things.
  2. Laughter heals a broken heart. Maybe not fully but as the heart always aches for the losses you experience in life but it does heal the heart and allow you to keep moving on.
  3. Surrounding yourself with nature when you are grieving or sad reminds you that all of nature is connected and we are all part of this circle. It also reminds you that you are part of something much bigger than you. It also brings peace and tranquility to the soul. 

In some ways it was a day that reminded me to be fully present with what is and to spend time in gratitude that although loss is part of the journey, so is love and connection.

Whatcha good at?

I believe everyone is good at something. The key is to know what you are good at and quit focusing on the areas where you are, shall we say, challenged? 

I’ve got friends that are great cooks but can’t bake a thing. Vice versa I know people who are genius at baking but hate cooking. I bet if someone quizzed you and named talents and skills you could think of someone who shines in every area they name. I try, as a general rule to acknowledge those around me when they shine at something they do. 1) because everyone deserves to be acknowledged and 2) when your confidence grows you are I willing to do more and learn more. 

It’s also a good exercise in gratitude to name off the things you are good at. Kind of like, I’m grateful I am good at making enchiladas. Okay so you may laugh at that but when I make enchiladas my whole family and several friends will go out of their way to come over for dinner. I literally get begged to make them. So yeah…. I exel at making enchiladas. 

What do you excel at? What are you good at that makes you feel good about it? If you are good at it, are you sharing it with the world? So many questions to ponder. 

Meandering Machu Picchu

Machu Picchu is a place that fills my dreams. It’s a place I long to go to. I want to stand and gaze at the ruins and feel the energy of the place. Like Ireland, it is a place that calls to my soul. 

I can close my eyes and picture myself walking the grounds. To me they are sacred. A holy place. I fee the power of the place without even being there. I know that may not make sense to other people but I don’t care. It’s the way I feel. 

I have this overwhelming feeling when I see pictures of the forgotten city. Tears well up and I want to cry. It feels like grief for the loss of such grandeur, for the people who called it home. Don’t ask me why. I’ve just always get this deep connection to this place. 

Is there somewhere out there in this big world that you have never been but you fee this kind of a draw, a pull, a connection? Is there a place that haunts your dreams and whispers to your soul on the winds? 

Lessons Learned

Sometimes it takes longer to learn lessons so the universe just keeps bringing the opportunities around for you to learn until you actually do. How often do you say, “not this again” or “why does this always happen to me?” If you say things like that it is often a sign that there is some kind of lesson that you need to learn that you just aren’t getting because you keep repeating the opportunities to learn.

I have a few of those lessons myself but other’s I have “for the most part” conquered and come out the better for having finally learned what I needed to know. So here are a couple lessons that really changed my life.

  1. The faster you own up to your part in everything that happens to you the faster you can heal, grow and move on. We have a tendency to want to blame everyone and everything around us instead of just accepting that we are co-creators of our experiences. When you can accept that and take responsibility for creating the situations you find yourself in, the easier it is to get through them. (and yes, there is always some way, some thing that you did, thought or said that helped create every situation.)
  2. Pride is not more important than people. This doesn’t mean be a doormat. This means that you shouldn’t let your own pride keep you from accepting that we are all fallible. We all make mistakes, act out, say harsh things etcetera. Place your value on the relationship and not on being right.
  3. Saying “I’m sorry” doesn’t mean you are really sorry if you repeat the behavior. It means you were sorry you got caught in the moment but not enough to stop the behavior. Really being sorry means you want to stop the behavior that caused the problem and you will do everything in your power to not do it again. In my opinion, don’t say the words if you can’t back it up with the actions.
  4. Living your life with Integrity isn’t easy but you have way less problems in the long run. If you are authentic and real and have strong moral principles people will know what to expect from you and as the saying goes, “you teach people how to treat you” and I have found that if I am authentic and walk through life with integrity I naturally pull people toward me that are the same and believe me, that is worth it.

The thing is, life doesn’t come with an instruction manual. You have to decide for yourself what works and what doesn’t. You have to be true to yourself but in that, pay attention when the universe is sending you opportunities to learn and grow. If you pay attention and take time to learn from your experiences your life will change and you will grow.

Advice to the young

I have for all intents and purposes arrived at the age that I feel comfortable saying I have advice for the younger generations. I guess maybe I feel like that is acceptable because I now have grown children out there in the world living their lives.

When we are young, we think we have the world at our feet and that time is endless and absolutely nothing can happen to us. Well, here is my life advice for those that are younger:

  • Travel the world. Travel as much as you can whether it is weekend jaunts or trips around the world. Travel will open you up and expand you. See vistas, experience other cultures, taste other foods, feel how other people live. It will be the best education you can get.
  • It may seem all fun and games and exciting to blow your money when you don’t have a lot of bills but the bills will come and grow so be smart and save some of your money, even if it only $5 a week. Look for ways to invest your money once you have saved it up.
  • Buy a house as soon as you can. I always believed that I could buy a house any time I wanted. Not true. We had three kids relatively close together and literally priced ourselves out of what we could afford versus how much space we had to have. It was a hard lesson to learn and took a very long time to come through.
  • Don’t let pride get in the way of relationships. You can get over anything but you can’t replace people in your life. Seriously!

Life is a complicated thing and you can get through anything as long as you stay grounded and believe that you can succeed. Sounds cheesy but its true.

Describe yourself

As I have aged, I realized that who we present to the world isn’t always who we see in the mirror. Our self-image is often much worse and we hope others don’t notice what we see or think about ourselves. So this got me thinking….. Who are you really? How would you describe yourself to others?

In all fairness I will describe myself first. I am skating the line of turning 50. My birthday is in a few days and I will be turning 48. I have been married to one man for 27 years and I have three sons. Ages 26, age 24 and age 21. People thought I was crazy when I married my husband after so short of time together but we knew it was right and here we are 27 years later, happy as ever.

I also used to think I was a horrible parent because I didn’t parent like most people I knew. However, my kids have turned into very respectable, responsible adults and I am very proud of them. I’m even proud of myself for having not screwed them up.

I am a loving daughter to my parents, sister to my brothers and sister-in-laws, aunt to all my various  nieces and nephews and yes I am even a surrogate mom to my children’s many friends. I am a fantastic friend. I am loyal and dependable and I give good advice when I am asked for it.

I am creative, I sing and I’m a writer. Theses are the things I believe about myself. This is how I see the person in the mirror. What about you?

Admire and Inspire

Who is the most inspiring person that you have personally met?  I find inspiration from all sorts of people, places and things but adding in that classification of it being someone I have met….. well that puts a spin on it. 

So I think perhaps the newest “inspirational ” person I have met is Tara Wilson. She is a wellness entrepreneur who calls herself the  million dollar mommy.  She inspires me in the following ways:

  • Be real and authentic and those that belong in your tribe will show up and stay.
  • Nobody is perfect and our imperfections is what makes us approachable.
  • Find a mentor and learn everything you can then find someone to mentor yourself.
  • Passionate purpose can change lives.
  • Education in the things that matter to you can change your outlook on life and others too.
  • If you don’t believe in yourself nobody else will.
  • You can achieve your dreams and have fun doing it. 

I definitely think we need to find ways to approach those we admire and let them inspire us to greatness but we have to be a willing student first. Are you a willing student? Ar you teachable? 

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