Whether you want to acknowledge it or not there are several phrases that are commonly used that don’t really mean what we are saying to ourselves or to others:
- I’m too tired right now
- I don’t feel like
- Maybe later
- I might be
- I don’t have time
We use these phrases to politely tell people and ourselves really, that whatever the topic of conversation is, is not a priority for us.
In and of itself that isn’t a bad thing, especially if you are setting boundaries for yourself. However, we use these statements so unconsciously that we aren’t even aware that what we are really saying is NO to things. So here is my question for you today:
Are you saying NO to things that you really want to be saying YES to and are you prioritizing the wrong things to achieve your goals? Well, try this then……
Changing our language, with a simple switch from any one of the phrases I listed above with “it’s not a priority for me” will radically change things in your life. You will begin to consciously hear what you are prioritizing and what you aren’t.
Here’s an example: if you have a goal to work out at the gym regularly but when your friend asks if you are going to the gym today and you would normally say “I don’t have time today.” If you switch the wording and say, “it’s not a priority today.” Whoa! Stop everything! Really? You are trying to make a commitment to work out at the gym and today it’s not a priority? Really?
Can you see how it might make you do things differently? Become conscious of your language and really listen to what your words are saying. Not just on the surface but the meaning behind them.
Of course, some days you are too tired, or you don’t fee like doing something but those days are easy to be honest with yourself about what’s going on and you shouldn’t feel guilty if something isn’t a priority for you.
One of my favorite books is called, “The Game of Life and How to Play it” by Florence Scovel Shinn. It was written in 1925 and it’s truths still hold true today. The basic premise of the book is that ignorance of, or carelessness with the application of various ‘Laws of Metaphysics’ can bring about undesirable life events.
We are creating even if we are creating in a state of unawareness. Scary thought right? So, this book goes about discussing metaphysical laws so you can go about creating with awareness. We are all in this grand game and adventure called life, and this is a guide book on how to play the game.
It may sound simple but it is anything but easy to put into practice. It’s about flying in harmony with the divine around us. It’s about learning mastery over self. Every failure, every challenge that comes our way is an opportunity for us to grow mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. An opportunity for us to “level up” and to get better at the game of life.
I’m constantly trying to level up, to grow, to better myself, to learn, to function at a higher level. To be the best version of myself that God created me to be. It’s a daily choice. Some days I get knocked on my ass but in the words of video games, I get experience points and eventually those points add up and I get to level up my life.
Nothing is truly a failure if you learn from it. However, part of what I’m learning about the game of life is that not everyone is on the same level as you. You have to allow people to level up in their own way, in their own time, through their own experiences. Sometimes that means paths have to diverge. Sometimes that means getting put in with new teams. Sometimes that means you’re the only one at your level for a while. The point is to never give up, to always keep trying and to believe in yourself and your ability to play the game and play it well.
This is life and I’m living it. Are you?
My girlfriend took this photo the other day on our walk. The walk was in one of my favorite places – Point Whitehorn. I love the meandering path through the trees as you head to the beach.
I have always loved this tree. I think the reason why is because it has such character. I mean, look at it, imagine the adversity it must have grown through to create such a twisty, curving trunk. It’s fascinating to me.
This tree represents life to me. The path of life isn’t one straight line from birth to death. Life is a journey that twists, corners, rises, sinks and causes you to grow despite what environment you are placed in. As long as we are growing, pushing ourselves to keep going, be better, and challenge our circumstances then we each become this glorious reflection of life in the world. Each beautiful in our uniqueness.
Celebrate what makes you special. Embrace the winding path of life you are on because this IS life!
Motivational speaker Jim Rohn famously said that “we are the average of the five people we spend the most time with.” A mathematical way to work that out is to take the income of your five closest friends and then divide by 5. It usually comes out to or close to your yearly income. The theory is that if you want to increase your wealth start to move in a circle of people that challenge you to “rise” to their level.
On the flip side of that, if you aren’t strong in who you are and where you are going, your friends have he ability to “lower” you to their level even if you are the biggest earner in the group. All in all it’s a conversation about these theee things:
- Don’t let who you associate with being you down to their level.
- Are you content being the average of your friends?
- If you want to grow and increase then find a group of mentors who are living In the lifestyle and financial bracket you desire and spend the majority of your time with them.
That doesn’t mean if you are on welfare and barely making ends meet that you try and hang out with Richard Branson. There are a lot of steps between where you are and where you want to be.
I didn’t believe this theory when I first heard it it I did the math and it was almost spot on. I also have checked when my finances are ebbing to see who I am spending time with, and yes, it was proven again. I’ve surrounded myslelf with people I would class as doing better than me and realized that they motivate me to be better, do better, stretch and grow.
It’s an interesting concept to ponder. Try it out and see what you think. You might be surprised by what experience in the process.
Double Dipping…. I am not talking about double dipping your veggies or chips in dip. Although I am sure I could make a post on that too. No today I am using the reference of double dipping in regards to the fact that for the next 90 days I have agreed to take part in the Team Heart 90 Day Live Facebook challenge and I blog. A lot of what I am doing in the 90 day Live video challenge is stuff I could just as easily write and post to my blog.
I guess I decided to save myself some time and share across platforms as I can and maybe not have to create double the content. Cheating? Um….probably but that’s okay it won’t be word for word, just maybe theme for theme.
So today in my live video I talked about taking action even when afraid. Now I am no expert on doing something despite my fear. I can honestly admit that yes, I have allowed fear to hold me back. I have allowed fear to make my decisions sometimes. It sucks. What’s worse is that no matter what I have told others I know the real reason I didn’t move forward, chase a dream, or take action. Living with my self after that is way worse than if I had just faced me fears head on and taken action.
Fear can be debilitating. Paralyzingly so. You can literally have a whole body physical reaction to fear. I’m learning to not let fear stop me. I’m learning to take action despite the risk, real or imagined. I’m learning to stop the conversations in my head about doubt and unworthiness and I am learning to quit making excuses so I can stay in fear. I mean, who wants to live there anyway?
Everything I want, everything I dream about is literally on the other side of fear. I have to want those things more than I want fear in control. Believe me it’s a work in progress but at least I am consciously working on it. I’m choosing every day to take at least one step beyond my fear.
Am I a raging success? Well, no but I can be as long as I don’t give up. As long as I keep putting one foot in front of the other. My point to all this? You can do it too. Just push yourself through the rapidly beating heart, sweaty palms, barely breathing moment and do it. You’ll live – I promise!
I believe it is important to have a dream that you are working toward. I also believe it is important that your dreams push you, challenge you, stretch you. I’ve also discovered that a dream should frighten you. Not to the point that you are too afraid to reach for the stars but it should scare you…. just a bit.
I think most of my life I have been happy with the status quo and been too afraid to reach for my dreams. I’ve settled instead of believing that I could achieve the secret dreams of my heart. The thing is, I am technically middle aged and I realize that if I don’t reach for my dreams I will never risk the chance of achieving them.
So, there are a a couple big audacious dreams in my life:
- Travel internationally at least once every other year.
- Visit every state in the US
- Become a published author
- Be a philanthropist and patron of the arts
- Earn a 6 figure income – through one or more income streams.
- To have the wardrobe of my dreams
- To live in a large house with plenty of room to entertain
They may not seem like amazing goals to anyone else but to me they represent an entire way of life that I have yet to achieve. Every day I want to move towards these dreams becoming a reality. It will require lots of growth on my part and hard work and diligence but I can’t give up.
I think to some extent everyone has some kind of goal(s) that they are working on. They may not be public about it but there is generally always a goal people are trying to achieve.
I try to set reasonable goals. You know, with easy to reach milestones. I try to be realistic in what I can accomplish but I also push myself not to make it too easy. I used to think I understood goal setting but I’ve recently begun to realize that I have more to learn.
Did you know that as humans we slow down our own success by slowing down how hard we work once we get close to our goal? It’s as if we put the goal as the highest mark and once it close we don’t see ourselves bypassing it so we slow down our progress so we only hit the goal, not shoot past it.
I didn’t believe it at first but the more I have talked to people the more I have realized it as truth. So, now when I set a goal I over set it. For example, I don’t just want to get my finances in order, I want to be debt free by the end of the year. Go BIG! Think BIG! Act BIG! Achieve BIG!