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Observations from the Field

I am part of many Alzheimer’s support groups online and I have realized that although the groups are priceless in making you realize that you are not alone in dealing with the issues of Alzheimer’s, they can breed a culture where your darkest thoughts are agreed with and confirmed when you should be finding people to uplift you.

Just an observation…..after reading a few posts in the groups lately…..
This disease takes so much from those effected by it but what makes me really sad is how much it strips the caregivers/family members of who they are and leaves them cynical and angry with a F___ you attitude….most often towards other loved ones they feel have neglected or abandoned them to do all the caregiving or neglected and abandoned the loved one in question.

This disease strips our loved ones from us in an agonizingly slow process and strips us as the caregivers, of our faith, our sense of connection to humanity, to our community, to those we called family and friends. It’s absolutely heartbreaking. It’s why I am grateful there is a place like the online groups where people can be heard, felt they are understood and definitely feel supported and not alone but the lull of also being supported in dark thinking, negativity and self-righteousness are there too.

I don’t claim to have answers. I have crappy days where I hate the whole damn world and this disease even more but I hope that when I speak up in these groups it is always to love, support and remind others that they matter. They are not alone and that whenever possible to not let this disease steal more from them than the person in their life who has it.

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Small moments lead to BIG things

Have you ever looked back on your life and realized that a small moment in time brought about a major shift in your life? That a simple decision or action radically ended up changing your life?

I had no idea two years ago that watching a short video would open the door to a whole new world for me. Two years ago a very dear friend shared a video with me because she thought the product it discussed might be helpful for my mother who has Alzheimer’s.

I don’t know if you have ever been faced with a terminal disease for you or a loved one but when you have been, you look for hope in anything, reading, searching, PRAYING for anything that might, if nothing else, help them have a better quality of life for the life they have yet.  Of course I wanted to watch the video.

Once I watched the video I just kind of sat there and realized that not only did I want my mother on it but I needed to be on it. Thus began my journey into health and wellness that I didn’t even know I needed to be on.

Fast forward to today…..

  1. I sleep better
  2. I no longer have chronic ear/sinus infections
  3. I no longer have hip pain (in both hips) … this alone was life changing in so many ways
  4. I have more energy
  5. I have less stress
  6. I’m losing weight
  7. My husband who has been on narcotic pain medication for most of our marriage (27 yrs) due to a sever back injury no longer takes daily pain medication
  8. My husband who had severe insomnia sleeps through the night
  9. 9. The biggest change in my husband is he went from being grouchy from pain, angry at life in general, and ultimately uninterested in life to the point of it almost being depression to now being happy, laughing and back to dreaming about a future he had given up on.

So what happened with all these life changing things happening to us? Well, I think, as you know, when something amazing happens to you, you simply can’t stop talking about it. It’s become a major part of my world and I won’t go a day without the product…. in fact I am building a business with it now.

Why? Because I want everyone I know to understand what can happen when they cut oxidative stress in their body. It feels nothing short or miraculous. It’s so BIG I almost can’t express it in words. Its something you have to try for yourself and really (1) month for every decade of your age isn’t that big of a commitment to ask to experience a major life shift.

People give more time and commitment to football season then they do to their health. Why? When do you make YOU a priority? Maybe 2018 is the year. If it is, if you are interested in learning more – please message me. I would love to share it with you.

Can you say No?

Silly question – I know but indulge me a bit.  Truthfully now, can you say no?

A lot of people struggle with saying no. They don’t want to disappoint people so they agree to things and then later they are eaten up with anger, guilt and remorse. Worse yet, they over-promise and under-deliver. Then the very thing they were afraid of, disappointing or letting people down is exactly what happens.

Saying no, even when it a reasonable request can make you feel guilty and like a bad person but in truth saying no can be a healthy life decision. So how do you learn to say no? Well, you start by realizing that you can’t say yes to everything because then you end up saying no to yourself.

Get over the idea that you are being selfish by protecting your own time. You aren’t going to lose someone’s respect because you are honoring your own boundaries. You’re saying “yes” to spending more quality time with your friends, loved ones, and family. You’re saying “yes” to maintaining your sanity because we all know how insane we can get by saying yes too much.

You’re saying “yes” to living a more relaxed, evenly-paced life that is centered around the things that having meaning for you and not killing yourself to do things for someone else. You’re saying “yes” to having a reasonable workload instead of burying yourself in hours of extra work because you simply couldn’t say no.

You may want to ask yourself why you are having trouble saying no. There is probably a lesson about yourself or your relationships in the answer. The more you ask yourself why you feel you can’t say no the more you will learn about yourself and those you surround yourself with.

All that being said, I firmly believe that you should say yes if feel that the task is  manageable, within your responsibility to do, or even when you owe someone a favor. Just be wise in what you say yes to and feel free to say no. It can be life changing.

 

The Moment of Change

We all have those moments where we are forever changed. From one breath to the next we are different people. The change can be mental, physical, emotional or spiritual but the moment still transpires. If we are lucky we are fully aware of the transition as it is happening. Often times, we are caught in the drama of the moment and don’t realize the change has occurred until after the fact.

I have had many moments where I know for a fact that I was changed. I think big moments are easier to recognize, like when I graduated from school, became a wife, and became a mother. Those are huge life changes and once you step over the threshold you literally cannot go back to being who you once were. But what about those moments that do not get such huge recognition and fanfare? Are they any less significant? I don’t think so.

Here is an example – Back in 1996 I went to work in a sales office in Denver, Colorado and on my first day one of the sales team walked into my office to greet me and this amazing thing happened. She took a seat next to my desk and we both just looked at each other with this awareness. Two souls recognizing each other. Literally I believe that is what one of us said to other, something like “there you are.” It was an acknowledgement of what was undiscovered but known between us.

We became fast and deep friends. The lessons she taught me about myself, my mindset, my spirituality, my finances and my business acumen are invaluable to me. She awakened me to truths about myself and in exchange I did the same for her. It was like being two sides of the same coin. Over time, life happened and we went our separate ways but this woman still remains, to this day, a milestone in my life. There is before I met her and after I met her. That may sound crazy to some of you but it is what it is.

Even to this day, I will wake up and have this sense that she is having a bad day, an emotional day, an extremely happy day. I feel connected to her even with thousands of miles between us and many years of minimal communication. The interesting thing is she inevitably reaches out to me when I need to hear from her the most. Again, two sides of the same coin.

This is just once instance that I can think of where these moments of change just occurred and I am a better person because of it. I must say, not all of my moments of change were inspired by happy things. Some of them have been sad, traumatic and emotionally devastating but I have come to realize that these moment of change are what make life such an interesting journey.

Compliments 101

I used to be really bad at accepting a compliment until I went to a Women in Leadership Conference and one of the exercises they made us do was stand up and compliment the person to our right. They were complete strangers and to say the least it was awkward. The instructor asked us a bunch of questions about how we felt giving the compliment versus receiving it.

People actually enjoyed complimenting others way better then being complimented. Why is that? If we are all truly amazing, unique and special individuals and we all are talented in different ways why wouldn’t we want someone to recognize our gifts and talents? Why would that make us uncomfortable?

The instructor talked a lot about how bad it reflects on a person as a leader if they do not know both how to give complements and how to receive compliments appropriately. It has been years since that conference and I still think about the things they said and I really try to give compliments to people regularly.

At the conference one of the things they had us do was have another person compliments us and then before we respond to say in our head, “Yes I know” and then verbally to say thank you. Believe it or not, as funny as it sounds, it actually works. When you say, “Yes I know” inside your head it brings a smile to your face and a confidence that can be heard in your voice when you say thank you.

The key is to stop speaking as soon as you say Thank you because everything that comes after that is usually just running our mouths with all the reasons why the compliment isn’t valid. Quit denying your greatness. It starts with accepting compliments. When you begin to accept what other people see in you then it easier for you to take chances to step out of your comfort zone and do even more great things.

Life tip: Learn to give and receive compliments. The world needs more of the positive and so do you. Don’t discount it when it comes your direction.

One of those days

Have you ever woken up and the day just starts off stressful and never lets up? Yeah? Well, welcome to my day today.

I somehow set the alarm clock for 5:45 am instead of 4:45 am so the minute my husband and I woke up we were already running behind schedule.  Did I mention that my husband had to be at work by 6:30 and the jobsite is 20 minutes away? Or that I had to make him breakfast and pack his lunch before we could leave?

Then, our car is in the shop, and my friend was letting us use their car today but it has a blow and go. I am going on record here to say that should I be forced to have one of these or not drive I will be taking the not driving route because I CANNOT make the damn thing work. Somehow we managed to get the car going but a few minutes down the road we got caught in train traffic and had to wait and then wait some more before finally getting into open road.

Dropped ny husband off, managed to survive the “blow test” another 2 times before making it home only to have my husband call and tell me hey didn’t need him for the overtime he had gone in to do and I needed to come back and pick him up. So back I go only this time when the car beeps for me to “blow” it doesn’t accept it and next thing I know I am stuck on the side of the road with a “locked out” car I can’t turn back on, in an area with no cell service and by the way I am still in my PJ’s.

Eventually another friend came and rescued me, managed to get the car started and back to the house. My son, who was expecting a ride to work from me had to call a friend for a last minute ride and then I was jumping on business calls right up until my parents showed up to take me shopping. I was helping my dad buy new underthings for my mom.

We finish that and my husband calls for a ride home as hey didn’t need him anymore. We get him, get home and he starts working on my sons car that was in the driveway but undrivable because it had no brakes. Then my mechanic calls to say that my car won’t be ready and arranged for us to get a rental car at a discounted daily rate but that isn’t an actual answer to our problems because I want expecting to spend $200 on a rental car.

I could go on and on about this day. The drama and sh** just keeps coming my direction. For the first time all day I’ve had 5 minutes to sit down and just think. Know what I think? I think I want this day to be over and let’s start again tomorrow.

Time Flies

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There has been a lot of talk in my little world about making time for the important things. There has also been a lot of talk about paying attention to what actually is important. We fill our lives with things that don’t matter and wonder why we never get things accomplished.

I am surrounded by people who are making a commitment to reach their goals through determined action. They aren’t doing it by the seat of their pants either. They have a plan, a way to track their progress and they have each other to be support and cheerleaders along the way.

I’ve always believed I am good at being organized and being a multi=tasker but after being a fly on the wall watching these people walk, run and fly toward their goals I have come to realize that I have a lot to learn about making time for the things that matter. I do good at it when it comes to family and some friends. I even do good at it when it is work related but there are other things that I want to build, grow and accomplish and I am having a hard time staying on target, saying focused and making time in my schedule to really do what I want to do.

I think part of it is that I am still trying to define the “important” part of this. The WHY that has to keep me motivated. Keep me moving forward, step after step. Everything we do is exchanged for a part of our life we will never get back so we need to make sure that we are making time for what is really important.

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