Creative expression through the written word

Posts tagged ‘friends’

An Exercise in Self-Discovery

I want to tell you a story. A story about self-discovery. Probably 15 years ago I met a woman who challenged me to be a better person in so many ways. For several years before she passed away she fulfilled the role of spiritual guru for me and I count my life blessed beyond measure to have known her. 

So many significant exchanges happened between us but the one I want to share happened when my close group of women friends first met her and we spent a girls weekend in a hotel room immersing ourselves in spiritual conversation.  Through the course of conversation, I’m not really even sure what brought it about but, lets call her grammie greywolf, decided I needed to own myself.

She asked me to stand in front of the group and say, “I Am Trina. I am strong, wise and powerful and I Am the best Trina I can be.” Sounds simple enough, right? Only I couldn’t do it. Sure I could stand there in front of those women I loved and who I knew loved me back but I simply couldn’t make those words come out of my mouth. 

There is so much power behind those words: I AM. She was asking me to make a statement of self-claiming. She was asking me to own up to my own power and to lay claim to being the best I could be. Not just once but as a whole- forever and I simply couldn’t do it. 

I stood there crying. Wanting to say the words and be done but my heart and mind were not in alignment with the physical act of speaking. We all knew I had to come into alignment with those words on every level first. She stood in front of me, he’s my eyes with her own, her hand resting over my heart and I felt her love for me as a human being, as a spiritual sister flow into me. 

In a whisper the words slowly came out. That wasn’t good enough. She had me repeat that statement over and over, louder and louder until there was power behind my words. Truth reverberating in the simple words for everyone present to hear. 

That moment set me on a personal journey to claim who I truly am. To walk in my personal power and to really try to be the best version of myself that I can be. It set me on a journey of self-discovery For which I have been forever grateful. 

Maybe you don’t have a grammie greywolf that can create a space for openness and healing and stand in front of you patiently until you reach your a-ha moment but you can do this for yourself. Stand in front of a mirror, look into your own eyes and make your own I Am statements. 

Don’t stop until you actually feel and hear the power in your words, until you see the shift of confidence come over your body. 

When you do this, every morning if necessary, you will find that you start to express that truth in the world. You start to learn how to be the best version of yourself and believe me, the world will be a better place for it. 

Try it. You can only grow from it. Aren’t you with it?

Can you host/hostess well?

August is our last month of full summer and then we begin the slow transition into the fall and winter. From the first weekend in September when we celebrate Labor Day to the last week of December when we welcome in the New Year we are on a roller coaster of holidays and celebrations. Outside of summer it is often the busiest time of year for people to host parties and get-togethers. It’s a time to celebrate and create great memories that will last a lifetime. So, what happens if you do not feel comfortable hosting a party but you want to? Well, we have a few tips for you on how to be the “Hostess with the Mostess”. There are a few simple things to think about when planning a party that will make things go smoother and easier for you.
Step One: Give yourself plenty of time to organize the event. We often underestimate the amount of work it takes to throw a “simple” party together. Not giving yourself enough time puts stress on you right from the start that is not needed. Give yourself more time that you think you need. Seriously!

Step Two: We like to think we are Superman/woman but the truth is we can only do so much and a big mistake in party planning that people make is not asking for help. We often have a bigger support network than we think we do and people really don’t mind being asked to assist. Especially when they get to participate in the fun afterwards.

Step Three: Food can make or break a party. You can do everything else right but if the food is bad or mediocre it’s all your guests will talk about so keep your food choices simple. Parties are not the time to try out new recipes. Stick with favorites that are tried and true and easy to make. Better yet, find recipes that you can make ahead so you have less to do the day of the event.

Step Four: Set the tone for your party before your guests arrive. Turn on music that creates the environment that you want. Light those scented candles that invoke smells you want to linger in your guest’s mind. Post a little sign by the door if you want guests to take off their shoes. Open the patio door if you want guests to head out to your backyard. All these little things will set the tone and you will relax knowing that the feel for your party is set and ready to roll.

Step Five: Once the party starts – relax and enjoy your own party. People do not expect you to be perfect and in fact, relax more if they feel like you are just like everyone else. Watch the flow of the party and the guests. Keep conversation going, make sure people’s glasses are full and that they have eaten enough but don’t forget that the whole point of having people over is to enjoy their company. To have good conversations and make memories. You don’t want to be so busy “hosting” that you don’t even enjoy your own get-together.

Step Six: Say Thank You! It only takes a minute in our day of technology to drop a quick thank you for attending. Choose your most convenient way of contacting people but be sure to say thank you. Especially to the friends that helped you out or stayed late to help you clean up. Everyone likes a little recognition.

With a little bit of pre-planning and learning how to keep it simple you can have a great party. You may even decide that you are quite good at hosting parties. Before you know it, you might be “THE” hostess of all your friends.
 

The Inner Circle

Believe it or not….. I am a relatively private person. I know – SHOCKER! The reality is that most of the people that I call friends would tell you that I don’t really talk about the deep, private stuff. I will totally be there for you in that regard but I don’t really share that side of myself with people. There are very few – less than 5 who I have let into the inner circle.

The thing is, I was never that way before. I think the change happened in me when a very dear friend, a best friend….. you know, the one that is THE friend. The one who knows your deepest, darkest secrets. Knows you better then you even know yourself sometimes. Well this friend, believed that I said something to someone in their life causing a very hurtful and devastating emotional situation in their life to erupt. I don’t want to go into the whole story but the truth is – I would NEVER do what I was being accused of to anyone let alone someone I had loved so deeply.

I was devastated and it felt for years like I was emotionally destroyed. I couldn’t understand how someone who supposedly “knew me better than anyone else” was so totally blind to my character, integrity and honesty. I literally drowned in pain realizing I had shared my most intimate emotional self with someone and they never really saw me. I lived with heartbreak for years and when new relationships were presented to me I became leery and reserved.

Its been sixteen years and I still have a hard time crossing the boundary of friends to inner circle friends. Thus the reason there are so few who really know anything deep about me. So today I was thinking about what makes a friend and this is what I have come up with…. mind you it is totally my perspective. You can do with it what you will:

  • Honesty – I need to know that the person I am dealing with is an honest person and that I can be honest with them without fear of fallout.
  • Integrity – As unfair as it may seem they have to prove their have integrity to me before I can even think about opening myself up to them. I don’t actually test them but I am observing and I pay attention to how they handle their own life situations.
  • Laughter – I can take things pretty serious, especially about myself, so I need someone who can make me laugh. If you can make me laugh about myself – all the better.
  • Dependable – I need someone who I can count on. Really. I need them to show up when they say they will, call when they say the will, do something when they say they will. I need to know I can depend on them – bottom line!
  • Adventurous – I tend to be a stay in the comfort of my home and become a hermit type of person. That doesn’t mean that I don’t love a good adventure. Actually I crave them which is why I need someone to encourage me to be more adventurous.
  • Level-headed – I am not one of those people that can deal with eternal drama. I need the people closest to me to be level headed and even keeled. Keep the drama away. I can deal with drama when I need to but it isn’t what I want in my closest relationships.

These are the things I look for in a friend and before you ask, yes, I expect to give all these things in return. Friendship is a two way street after all. I have found over the years that friendships are what has kept me sane in event he most stressful situations. I value them. Take care of your friends, honor them and protect them and let the friends that appear to bfriends but aren’t really go. You will thank yourself later.

It’s my birthday….

So today is my birthday and funny as it sounds I am far from home on a road trip with one of my girlfriends. We spent the day exploring the area of Montana we are currently in. 

I have had no cell service or internet all day but when I have had sporadic connection I have been flooded with well wishes from friends and family and my heart is overwhelmed with the love that has been poured out my way. 

It is a reminder to me that I have a very blessed life and that I know some truly amazing people. I may be turning 48 but I don’t care. I have lived a good life and I am blessed to be loved by so many people. 

So today, I have looked in the mirror and wishes myself a happy birthday and a blessed year and then I acknowledged how wonderful my life really is. 

Thank you to everyone who is a part of my life journey and happy 48th birthday to me. 

The Making of a Friend

I am absolutely positive that my life would not be what it is or where it is if it wasn’t for my friends. Don’t get me wrong. I feel the same way about my family and my upbringing but friends are the foundation of my life. So the question becomes, how do you make a friend?

I’m sure everyone has their own opinion on how to make friends with people. I am sure there are just as many people who wish they could make friends easily. I believe that we are naturally gifted with an inner awareness of others, call it a sixth sense if you will. I “feel” people way before I move toward friendships. I know when someone feels “Right” or “Off”. The older I have gotten the more I trust that instinct. I don’t force friendships with people who feel “off” to me. If anything, I steer clear or at the least keep them at a distance.

It may not be the answer that people are looking for in how to make friends but it works for me. Once my intuition says, “go” then I often spend time looking for ways I connect with someone. Do we have similar interests? Similar spiritual viewpoints? Do we love the same kinds of food or beverages? Can we laugh together? Laughter and a great sense of humor is the biggest connector point I look for. Then I just listen to them. Really listen. People want to talk about themselves and if you are willing to listen you can learn a lot.

It’s not foolproof but as I said before, it works for me. How do you make friends?

A helping hand

How do you help your friends? For those that I call friend I would do anything to help them if it was within my power to do so. I’ve helped people move, I’ve opened my home for people to live in, I’ve given them food from my own cupboards, I’ve given them late night rides without asking questions. I have loaned money when I didn’t really have it to give. I’ve cooked friends meals, cleaned their house, run errands for them and the list goes on and on.

However, the best thing I can do for a friend now is tell them about something absolutely amazing! It’s called Protandim and it is a patented product from Life Vantage. It’s called “the little yellow pill” and it is a scientific breakthrough. It reduces oxidative stress by an average of 40% in 30 days!!!!

We all know oxidative stress is bad but did you know that oxidative stress is linked to hundreds of diseases? Did you know that by reducing your oxidative stress you can help your body function at its best and help it heal itself? 

Check out this video to learn more:  ABC News Report

Watch the video. It only takes a few minutes of your time and aren’t YOU worth that? 

If you are as fascinated as I was then after watching the video click on the top bar that says ‘research’ and you will discover tons of scientific data! The FAQ sheet is there too! If you find it’s as awesome as I have, let me know I’ll show you how to order some! I’ve been taking it for 6 months and it is pretty AMAZING!!

Celtic Blessings

This evening I got an email that left me crying and laughing and thanking God for the women he has brought into my life and the many blessings and lessons they have taught me as I journey on this path. As the email came to a close and tears streamed down my face I found myself instinctively reaching for my celtic cross necklace. I almost never take it off and I find my fingers stray to it often.

It is a talisman when I am upset or afraid, it is a conduit for peace when I am nervous or anxious. It is a keeper of my laughter, the holder of my dreams. It is a symbol of my faith in God and it reminds me constantly of the three wonderful women who gave it to me. It is a bittersweet reminder of a time when so much change had not affected all of our lives.

Did you know that silver, which the necklace is made from, is the highest electrical conduit of all the elements? As I learn more and more about our bodies energetic fields I am coming to understand that this necklace really truly helps me funnel that energy into whatever means is necessary in the moment. This necklace helps me tune into God, to the healing energies within and then extend that out into my world.

It is with my full gratitude for such an amazing gift that I write this note. Thank you so much for the gift that has turned into so much more than a simple piece of jewelry. Thank you, thank you,thank you. Although I don’t think I can actually express correctly what this means to me and what it means to have received it from all of you, I hope this gives you a glimpse into my heart.

Thank you for the many blessings of this one gift to me from your hearts. I love you all!

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