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Archive for the ‘Family’ Category

Get over yourself 


This more true than people want to admit. No one wants to think about when they are gone but the reality is no one is getting out of this alive. 

Pictures, video, voicemail….these things that capture the essence of a person are the treasured memories of those that come after us. The reminders that we existed, that we mattered and that we left an imprint on someone and something in his world. 

Get over yourself and your self-judgment and simply be there, be present, and shoot the video, take the picture, leave the loving voicemails….we are not guaranteed even one more minute of life. Don’t leave a blank space, a void, where proof of your love can exist.  

When you are gone, your loved ones will treasure the memories and that’s way more important than whether or not you had your makeup on or were overweight. Trust me on this one. 

Married to a Ninja

You are probably asking yourself if I am being serious right now. Here’s the thing, my hubby has the knack of disappearing and reappearing so when it happens the kids and I call it “him being a ninja”. 

What are we talking about? How does someone disappear and reappear? We haven’t figured that out. Here’s an example: 

Hubby goes through the door from the house into the garage (this is a door clearly visible by the kitchen, dining room and living room). A few minutes I go out to the garage to ask him something and he’s not in the garage. I come in the house and he’s coming out of our bedroom. No one saw him leave the garage and come in the house. 

Now I could understand if it was just me but everyone in the house not seeing him? Everyone has experienced this with him which is how he got the ninja nickname. He of course thinks we are all crazy. 

This is just one of those weird things that make you go hmmm. Anyone else experience “ninja stealth” moments in their life? Just curious. 

Average of Five

Motivational speaker Jim Rohn famously said that “we are the average of the five people we spend the most time with.” A mathematical way to work that out is to take the income of your five closest friends and then divide by 5. It usually comes out to or close to your yearly income. The theory is that if you want to increase your wealth start to move in a circle of people that challenge you to “rise” to their level. 

On the flip side of that, if you aren’t strong in who you are and where you are going, your friends have he ability to “lower” you to their level even if you are the biggest earner in the group. All in all it’s a conversation about these theee things:

  1. Don’t let who you associate with being you down to their level. 
  2. Are you content being the average of your friends?
  3. If you want to grow and increase then find a group of mentors who are living   In the lifestyle and financial bracket you desire and spend the majority of your time with them. 

That doesn’t mean if you are on welfare and barely making ends meet that you try and hang out with Richard Branson. There are a lot of steps between where you are and where you want to be. 

I didn’t believe this theory when I first heard it it I did the math and it was almost spot on. I also have checked when my finances are ebbing to see who I am spending time with, and yes, it was proven again. I’ve surrounded myslelf with people I would class as doing better than me and realized that they motivate me to be better, do better, stretch and grow. 

It’s an interesting concept to ponder. Try it out and see what you think. You might be surprised by what experience in the process. 

Happy discovery!

Sun or Shadow

I’m an event planner by trade and yesterday I had an event. It was gorgeous weather and everyone was out enjoying it. I was enjoying it as best I could but from where I standing I was half in the sun and half out of the sun most of the event. I moved into full sun whenever I got the chance but it wasn’t until later that evening when I got home that I got to see the results of my day in the mirror.

My whole left arm was a nice pink turning red from the sun. My face was pink on the left too but not as dramatically as my arm. I had little splotches of pink on my right arm but it was very uneven. My husband and I just laughed and I put on after sun lotion with the hopes it wouldn’t be so noticeable in the morning (Which it wasn’t) but it did give me a perspective about life.

Lets say the sun is us, living our life to its fullest and the shadow is us, hiding our gifts, talents, and dreams because we are afraid or don’t believe we can have what we want. There are aspects of our lives where we are more than happy to stand in the full glory of the sun and let ourselves be seen. To express our divine perfection. Then there are areas in our life where we hide in the shadows afraid to be seen. Afraid to let anyone see our talent because they might expect us to actually do something with it. Afraid to dream because we don’t believe we have what it takes to achieve those dreams. We hide just out of reach of the sun, playing it safe but longing for the warmth of the sun.

However, when you take a look at yourself what you are left with is an uneven life. If we focus on only the areas where we feel comfortable being “seen” then those areas grow out of proportion creating a huge division in our inner soul. Creating darker shadows for us to hide in for the other sides of us. We can choose to stay in the shadow and live an unfulfilled life. A life of regret and frustration. However, if we step fully into the sun in all aspects of our life and find balance in expressing our gifts and talents then we become a nice golden tan, healthy and happy.

It’s not easy finding balance, one can easily get burned but if we are aware and focus on balanced living we will find ourselves enjoying all aspects of life and being fully engaged in the living out of our passions, gifts, and talents. It is the kind of life worth living.

So today has been about me exposing my talents and dreams to the sun. The shadow is no place for me. I want to glow with the radiance and warmth of the sun.

Deja vu glitch

I would say that a majority of the people I know have seen the movie The Matrix, starring Keanu Reeves. I just recently learned that there is an entire online community of people who hash out the meanings and symbolism of the trilogy. Who knew?!

If you have watched the movie you know the scene where Neo sees the black cat do something and seconds later sees it do the same thing again. He thinks its deja vu. (Insert deja vu definition here: having seen/experienced a situation before) he is told by Trinity that it happens when there is a glitch in the Matrix. (Insert my interpretation of the Matrix: the illusion of the environment around us keeping us from the truth). Patience…..there is a point to all of this…..

I feel like I am in the middle of my own deja vu Matrix glitch. For the past two years  my life has been stuck in this limbo place. No movement forward and if anything just sinking deeper into the mire. At the start of the year things dramatically changed and for the past four months I have watched things improve… the mire becoming solid and turning into steps as we climbed out of the place we were in. Sounds great right?

And the black cat walks in front of me…then I see it again. Not literally of course but a situation happened (the black cat) and I find myself back in the place I was in before the start of the year. My own personal glitch in the Matrix and I’m left sitting here trying to figure out how the hell I am going to find the red pill. 

“You take the blue pill, the story ends. You wake up in your bed and believe whatever you want to believe. You take the red pill, you stay in Wonderland, and I show you how deep the rabbit hole goes.” Or as I interpret it, you get to see the truth and become a master of your environment, an aware creator of your life. 

I’m tired of repeating this pattern in my life. Bone tired. The funny thing is that from outward appearance the place I find myself in isn’t of my own making but rather someone else’s. However, I am a firm believer that we do co-create our reality with the divine so…… I have to own this is mine too. 

So here is my thought to ponder… how do you see past the illusion that seems so real to the truth of what is possible? Not for a minute but permanently. You know, the “I took the red pill and I can never go back” kind of permanence. The I will never “deja vu” this experience in my life again truth. I logically know what is needed. But how does one co-create with another person if they are not on the same page? Same mindset? Same truth? Same vision for something different? The struggle is real. Far too real. 

So here I am….following the white rabbit…looking for the red pill. 

The Counterpoint Brigade

Life is crazy. Hectic. Chaotic. You can have absolutely perfect days and days you barely make it through. All in the same day even. A good friends brother had a saying that I’ve adopted…. “This is life and I’m living it.” It is not good or bad. It simply is what is. For every breath, the Now in front of us is life. 

I try to remember that but I am as susceptible as every other person in this world to the experiences of life.  I fall into the whirlwind that is my life and get sucked along, trying to keep my mind focused on Truth while feeling totally out of control to the craziness that is my life. 

But I have a secret…..

Drum roll please…… enter the Counterpoint Brigade. Uh, what? I have collected into my life these amazing men and women who are by description:  wild, crazy, zany, fearless, strong-willed, opinionated, over-the-top, and experts at life experience. They are the people I go spend time with when I need to “get my head straight ” and “my heart figured out”.  

They don’t even understand how much they effect me. Spending a hour with any one of them transforms my outlook on life- every single time. No kidding! Spending time with one or more together is like bathing in a pool of sanity when everything else in my world is insane. 

Want to know the funny part? I think we laugh more and can be the weirdest  around each other. Most people would think we were crazy people but I guess that’s why I call them the Counterpoint Brigade. What seems one way from the outside is really the complete opposite.

Some of them might know they fall into this group but I’ve never openly acknowledged it. I just know when I need them and i know it was right when I walk away from an encounter with them focused, happy, and ready to tackle “life” again with all its crazy aspects. 

These people are the unsung heroes of my life but I literally wouldn’t be who I am without them and I hope that to someone out there that I fill this role in their life too. I hope that people are the better for knowing me and that when people walk away from an encounter with me that their life is touched, refocused, balanced, energized. 

May we all touch each other’s lives in such a meaningful way. 

Netflix Chillin

So, this is a pretty rare occurrence but my husband and I had no plans and a free Saturday night. To top it off he kids took the car so we were stuck at home. We decided it was A Netflix and chill night. 

We got in our PJ’s, curled up on the couch and the movie selection began. We decided to rotate who got to pick what we watched. That way we could balance it out and both be happy with what we watched. 

All of the movies we watched were radically different but then again we like to explore our options and keep an open mind about things. I can count on my hand the number of times we have decided we “just couldn’t finish” a movie. 

Here are the movies we watched:

  • Precious Cargo: To get back in the good graces of her murderous boss (Bruce Willis), a seductive thief (Claire Forlani) recruits an ex-lover (Mark-Paul Gosselaar) to steal rare and valuable gems.
  • Shadow of Iris: Iris, young wife of a businessman, disappears in Paris. Maybe a mechanic with many debts is involved in the strange affair. A really complicated job for the police.
  • An Unfinished Life: Einar (Robert Redford), a recovering alcoholic rancher who lives with his loyal pal Mitch (Morgan Freeman), gets an unexpected visit from his daughter-in-law, Jean (Jennifer Lopez), and granddaughter, Griff (Becca Gardner). Einar holds a grudge against Jean because he feels she’s responsible for his son’s accidental death, but he reluctantly lets her stay at the farm when he learns that she’s trapped in a violent relationship. Over time, they grow closer and try to heal their emotional wounds.
  • Iceman: An imperial guard and his three traitorous friends become buried and frozen in time. When they wake up 400 years later, they continue the battle they started centuries before.

We like to discuss movies after the fact, you know, What would you do if?, Can you imagine?, I would have done…, I didn’t like that character because… and so on. Sometimes we just talk about the plot twists and what surprises us or was a given. We have a lot of fun and the hours of alone time, cuddling on the couch isn’t that bad either. 

I highly recommend, even when you live a hectic lifestyle, to make time for a Netflix and chillin night. It was relaxing and it gave us a chance to reconnect. So, get our computer, tablets, smartphones, smart televisions or whatever and get a queue going. 

*movie recommendations are always welcome. 

Oh for the love of Pig Pen

My husband love, loves, loves modern architecture and the crisp, clean lines of minimalism. I can appreciate it but it’s not totally my style. That isn’t the reason we don’t live in that kind of home or adhere to that kind of lifestyle. 

The truth, I tease my beloved husband all the time that he is like Pig Pen from the Charlie Brown cast of characters. He isn’t intentionally messy but he literally leaves a wake of “mess” behind him. Sometimes he will clean up everything but there is always one item he leaves open, or on the counter or unfinished. 

He is the messy to my neat. (don’t even get me started on how much that drives me crazy.) Sometimes I get frustrated, sometimes I get mad, but most of the time I shake my head and laugh. It isn’t as if he does it on purpose. He does try to pay attention but I enjoy teasing him. My own personal Pig Pen. 

He dreams about minimalism and modern architecture and I encourage the dream- we may end up in something closer to colonial but when you blend to lives together you blend two personalities, likes and dislikes as well. Either way, I love him and the “dust cloud” he creates. Good thing he loves my anal rententive organization too. At least we can lived in organized chaos together. 

Compliments 101

I used to be really bad at accepting a compliment until I went to a Women in Leadership Conference and one of the exercises they made us do was stand up and compliment the person to our right. They were complete strangers and to say the least it was awkward. The instructor asked us a bunch of questions about how we felt giving the compliment versus receiving it.

People actually enjoyed complimenting others way better then being complimented. Why is that? If we are all truly amazing, unique and special individuals and we all are talented in different ways why wouldn’t we want someone to recognize our gifts and talents? Why would that make us uncomfortable?

The instructor talked a lot about how bad it reflects on a person as a leader if they do not know both how to give complements and how to receive compliments appropriately. It has been years since that conference and I still think about the things they said and I really try to give compliments to people regularly.

At the conference one of the things they had us do was have another person compliments us and then before we respond to say in our head, “Yes I know” and then verbally to say thank you. Believe it or not, as funny as it sounds, it actually works. When you say, “Yes I know” inside your head it brings a smile to your face and a confidence that can be heard in your voice when you say thank you.

The key is to stop speaking as soon as you say Thank you because everything that comes after that is usually just running our mouths with all the reasons why the compliment isn’t valid. Quit denying your greatness. It starts with accepting compliments. When you begin to accept what other people see in you then it easier for you to take chances to step out of your comfort zone and do even more great things.

Life tip: Learn to give and receive compliments. The world needs more of the positive and so do you. Don’t discount it when it comes your direction.

One of those days

Have you ever woken up and the day just starts off stressful and never lets up? Yeah? Well, welcome to my day today.

I somehow set the alarm clock for 5:45 am instead of 4:45 am so the minute my husband and I woke up we were already running behind schedule.  Did I mention that my husband had to be at work by 6:30 and the jobsite is 20 minutes away? Or that I had to make him breakfast and pack his lunch before we could leave?

Then, our car is in the shop, and my friend was letting us use their car today but it has a blow and go. I am going on record here to say that should I be forced to have one of these or not drive I will be taking the not driving route because I CANNOT make the damn thing work. Somehow we managed to get the car going but a few minutes down the road we got caught in train traffic and had to wait and then wait some more before finally getting into open road.

Dropped ny husband off, managed to survive the “blow test” another 2 times before making it home only to have my husband call and tell me hey didn’t need him for the overtime he had gone in to do and I needed to come back and pick him up. So back I go only this time when the car beeps for me to “blow” it doesn’t accept it and next thing I know I am stuck on the side of the road with a “locked out” car I can’t turn back on, in an area with no cell service and by the way I am still in my PJ’s.

Eventually another friend came and rescued me, managed to get the car started and back to the house. My son, who was expecting a ride to work from me had to call a friend for a last minute ride and then I was jumping on business calls right up until my parents showed up to take me shopping. I was helping my dad buy new underthings for my mom.

We finish that and my husband calls for a ride home as hey didn’t need him anymore. We get him, get home and he starts working on my sons car that was in the driveway but undrivable because it had no brakes. Then my mechanic calls to say that my car won’t be ready and arranged for us to get a rental car at a discounted daily rate but that isn’t an actual answer to our problems because I want expecting to spend $200 on a rental car.

I could go on and on about this day. The drama and sh** just keeps coming my direction. For the first time all day I’ve had 5 minutes to sit down and just think. Know what I think? I think I want this day to be over and let’s start again tomorrow.

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