I can’t tell you the amount of times I have heard people say this about themselves or others and I wonder why, exactly, we are all aware of this behavior but we don’t DO anything about it. Its kind of like we are cattle just being herded along what is “socially acceptable”. Where is the honesty in that? I mean seriously….if you invite your friend to something and they come up with an excuse not to go, you are aware that they have basically just said, “sorry, this isn’t really rating on my important list so I’m going to pass but I don’t want to hurt your feelings so I’m going to tell you that I already made plans” (Yeah, they made plans to be curled up with a glass of wine and a good book on the couch). Funny thing is, we smile, nod our head and accept the excuse even when we know that is what we are hearing.
What I don’t understand is if we all do this and we are aware that everyone else is doing this, then when did it become wrong to say, I need to nourish myself right now and even though the offer sounds tempting I’d really rather do (fill in the blank). I understand the whole concept of “it’s polite” and “I don’t want to offend someone” but my question still stands…when did it become wrong to simply express your needs/wants/desires instead of coming up with excuses that mask them from others as if they are some kind of sin?
And of course, there is the other side of the coin, if something is important to us we will find a way to make it happen. I can only speak from personal experience here but if something registers on my “important” notebook in my subconscious – you bet I will find a way to make it work. Why? Well, duh, because it matters to me. But boy howdy if it isn’t important to me I can actually become very creative in my avoidance of things. (I can’t be the only one here) So after thinking about this statement I’ve decided that it challenges me on both sides of the coin. Challenge 1: Be more honest in my communication with others and quit making excuses. Challenge 2: Be more honest with myself on what is important in my life and quit making excuses when something doesn’t make the cut just because I think it will be “more socially accepted and understood.”