Sometimes it takes longer to learn lessons so the universe just keeps bringing the opportunities around for you to learn until you actually do. How often do you say, “not this again” or “why does this always happen to me?” If you say things like that it is often a sign that there is some kind of lesson that you need to learn that you just aren’t getting because you keep repeating the opportunities to learn.
I have a few of those lessons myself but other’s I have “for the most part” conquered and come out the better for having finally learned what I needed to know. So here are a couple lessons that really changed my life.
- The faster you own up to your part in everything that happens to you the faster you can heal, grow and move on. We have a tendency to want to blame everyone and everything around us instead of just accepting that we are co-creators of our experiences. When you can accept that and take responsibility for creating the situations you find yourself in, the easier it is to get through them. (and yes, there is always some way, some thing that you did, thought or said that helped create every situation.)
- Pride is not more important than people. This doesn’t mean be a doormat. This means that you shouldn’t let your own pride keep you from accepting that we are all fallible. We all make mistakes, act out, say harsh things etcetera. Place your value on the relationship and not on being right.
- Saying “I’m sorry” doesn’t mean you are really sorry if you repeat the behavior. It means you were sorry you got caught in the moment but not enough to stop the behavior. Really being sorry means you want to stop the behavior that caused the problem and you will do everything in your power to not do it again. In my opinion, don’t say the words if you can’t back it up with the actions.
- Living your life with Integrity isn’t easy but you have way less problems in the long run. If you are authentic and real and have strong moral principles people will know what to expect from you and as the saying goes, “you teach people how to treat you” and I have found that if I am authentic and walk through life with integrity I naturally pull people toward me that are the same and believe me, that is worth it.
The thing is, life doesn’t come with an instruction manual. You have to decide for yourself what works and what doesn’t. You have to be true to yourself but in that, pay attention when the universe is sending you opportunities to learn and grow. If you pay attention and take time to learn from your experiences your life will change and you will grow.
I have a friend who passed away a year and a half ago and they were one of my closest friends. We talked about so much. It was so clear to me that he was an Agent of Change. He had this way of seeing people and working with people who allowed them to recognize things within themselves and create change. Real change. Lasting change.
He sometimes hated that chaos and disruption tended to follow in his wake but he didn’t see that we cannot change if we are comfortable in the status quo. We need disruption, we need challenge and trial to prompt us out of our comfort zone. You can’t grow if you are happy where you are. If you aren’t growing then you are stagnating.
It has taken me a long time to get to the place where I welcome change. To the place where I face challenges with an eye to how I am going to grow through the situation. It has taken me a long time to accept my active role in the creation of my life, good or bad but since I have I am realizing that being an agent for change is a really good thing. If I can help bring about change in other people’s lives then I am assisting them to grow and if I am an agent of change in my own life then I am allowing myself to grow.
I refuse to look at chaos as a bad thing anymore. Chaos is simply the universe shaking things up so I can see something in a new way, experience something in a new way, learn something that will better myself. It isn’t easy to face life this way but it is so much more rewarding than to think I am a victim to circumstances and have no control over my own life.
When I was a little girl my Grandmother used to ask me who I would ask to dinner if I could talk with anyone in the world. I think it was her way of trying to figure out where my head and my heart were focused but over the years I have seen lots of people asking this same question and each time I think about it I feel like my answer is different.
When I was a teenager I would have named anyone of the music artists I listened to or perhaps one of the stars I had a crush on. It would never have occurred to me to use such an opportunity to learn and to grow. During my twenties it was all about people I respected as parental guides. Of course I was raising children and the people I respected were examples of the kind of parent I thought I wanted to be. In my thirties I would have chosen people who I admire in business. People who I thought could help me discover my strengths and my skills as a business owner.
Now, in my forties I have realized that the people I would most like to meet are the people who can impact my spiritual growth the most. People I admire like the Dalai Lama and Deepak Chopra. People who can challenge me and inspire me to be a better person. To grow in wisdom. What I realize now is that who I am in this world affects every experience in this world. I would spend time with people who make me want to be a better person.
So, who would you invite to dinner? Who would you spend your time with if you were given a chance?