Spent some time adventuring today and it got me thinking how important it is to change up your routine. We are by nature creatures of habit. We get comfortable and then we don’t get out of the everyday groove. It’s kins of sad really. We miss out on so much this way.
I try and do things different all the time. I shop for groceries at different stores (even though I have a favorite). I go to different branches of my bank even though I like that my closest branch tellers know me. I am constantly changing the kind of music I listen to (although that is more dependent on my mood). I drive different routes to a familiar location.
The point is that I get to shake off the dullness of sameness and I get to jump the ruts of routine. I will admit that sometimes it is hard to get me out of my comfort zone but once I am, I love it. I love newness. I love exploring. I love being open to adventure and new thinking.
Change up your routine. Do something different, try a new coffee shop, grocery store, gas station. Go somewhere you have never been. It doesn’t have to be a big trip, it could be the next town over. Just get out or your rut and expand your horizons!
This more true than people want to admit. No one wants to think about when they are gone but the reality is no one is getting out of this alive.
Pictures, video, voicemail….these things that capture the essence of a person are the treasured memories of those that come after us. The reminders that we existed, that we mattered and that we left an imprint on someone and something in his world.
Get over yourself and your self-judgment and simply be there, be present, and shoot the video, take the picture, leave the loving voicemails….we are not guaranteed even one more minute of life. Don’t leave a blank space, a void, where proof of your love can exist.
When you are gone, your loved ones will treasure the memories and that’s way more important than whether or not you had your makeup on or were overweight. Trust me on this one.
Some of the best words of advice I ever received from my dad about love is this: Do not look for love in the grand gestures. Those are fleeting and occasional. Instead, look for love in the million little things that show someone cares about you.”
His words taught me from the beginning of my marriage to look for expressions of love in the small actions. I have focused on those and always found love, even when we were struggling or going through a rough patch.
I’m not saying I never got or don’t appreciate those grand gestures; I do. I just don’t expect them in order to feel loved. I don’t think my husband isn’t thinking about me because he didn’t bring me home flowers. I don’t worry that he doesn’t feel as in love with me because he hasn’t treated me to dinner in a couple weeks. I don’t think our passion is fading because I didn’t get jewelry for Christmas.
Those are all fabulous things but real love is when my husband gets up early and takes a kid to work so I can sleep in, it’s starting my car in the middle of winter so it’s warm when I get in it. It’s cleaning up after I make dinner or washing our laundry so I don’t have to. It’s a million little actions everyday.
Here is my sweetheart, painting my toenails today, not because he had to but because he wanted to pamper me:
Such a simple little action that means nothing to anyone else but meant the world to me. These little acts of caring that make my heart melt.
Are you looking for love from your significant other in grand gestures or are you aware of the little acts of love that transpire around you every day? Are you grateful for those acts of love? Do you thank them and express love back to them in kind?
Silly question – I know but indulge me a bit. Truthfully now, can you say no?
A lot of people struggle with saying no. They don’t want to disappoint people so they agree to things and then later they are eaten up with anger, guilt and remorse. Worse yet, they over-promise and under-deliver. Then the very thing they were afraid of, disappointing or letting people down is exactly what happens.
Saying no, even when it a reasonable request can make you feel guilty and like a bad person but in truth saying no can be a healthy life decision. So how do you learn to say no? Well, you start by realizing that you can’t say yes to everything because then you end up saying no to yourself.
Get over the idea that you are being selfish by protecting your own time. You aren’t going to lose someone’s respect because you are honoring your own boundaries. You’re saying “yes” to spending more quality time with your friends, loved ones, and family. You’re saying “yes” to maintaining your sanity because we all know how insane we can get by saying yes too much.
You’re saying “yes” to living a more relaxed, evenly-paced life that is centered around the things that having meaning for you and not killing yourself to do things for someone else. You’re saying “yes” to having a reasonable workload instead of burying yourself in hours of extra work because you simply couldn’t say no.
You may want to ask yourself why you are having trouble saying no. There is probably a lesson about yourself or your relationships in the answer. The more you ask yourself why you feel you can’t say no the more you will learn about yourself and those you surround yourself with.
All that being said, I firmly believe that you should say yes if feel that the task is manageable, within your responsibility to do, or even when you owe someone a favor. Just be wise in what you say yes to and feel free to say no. It can be life changing.
Come on….. I know you have one. I know there is one trait that you have that you secretly, or maybe. It so secretly, love about yourself. It’s the first train at comes to mind when people ask you describe yourself. Or perhaps it’s the one trait that you hope people associate you with.
I believe we all have good traits even if not everyone gets to see those good traits all the time. Personally, I try to focus on the good traits in people rather than their challenges of character. I hope, people give me the grace to do the same for me.
So what is that trait you love about yourself? Inquiring minds want to know. These traits are what make you, you and me, me. So here is my trait, I think I’m a loyal person. Once I’ve “taken you into my circle”, called you my own, whether t is plant, animal, business or person – I’m loyal to the bone. It can actually get me into trouble sometimes because I don’t know how to become “un-loyal” even when it means self-protection.
So, as I said, what is your good trait? What trait makes you fee like you? What one good trait makes you smile when you hear people say it about you?
Have you ever looked at a piece of art and felt it call to something deep inside you? The longer you look at it the more you feel it belongs to you? That it has a special message just for you?
I’ve never considered myself an art expert and I am certainly no artist but I do own a few pieces of art that have touched my soul and bring out this vibrational energy within me, every time I look at them.
One of the pieces that I love the most was one of the last pieces of art created by my friend and mentor Megan “Greywolf” Garcia. She told me it was her depiction of stepping from this life into the radiance of spirit. She transitioned from this world not long after she gave me this piece of art from the sacred space she called home.
Every time I see it I think of her. I connect with her spirit and all the lessons she taught me come rushing back but more than that, it has the power to move me “forward”, to empower me. As a mentor to me it was her last gift of wisdom although it contains no words.
It is priceless.
So as I sit here, looking at it, I wonder….. do you have a piece of art that has touched you? Changed you? Continues to inspire and speak to you? I would love to know what it is and why it means so much to you.
One of my favorite books is called, “The Game of Life and How to Play it” by Florence Scovel Shinn. It was written in 1925 and it’s truths still hold true today. The basic premise of the book is that ignorance of, or carelessness with the application of various ‘Laws of Metaphysics’ can bring about undesirable life events.
We are creating even if we are creating in a state of unawareness. Scary thought right? So, this book goes about discussing metaphysical laws so you can go about creating with awareness. We are all in this grand game and adventure called life, and this is a guide book on how to play the game.
It may sound simple but it is anything but easy to put into practice. It’s about flying in harmony with the divine around us. It’s about learning mastery over self. Every failure, every challenge that comes our way is an opportunity for us to grow mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. An opportunity for us to “level up” and to get better at the game of life.
I’m constantly trying to level up, to grow, to better myself, to learn, to function at a higher level. To be the best version of myself that God created me to be. It’s a daily choice. Some days I get knocked on my ass but in the words of video games, I get experience points and eventually those points add up and I get to level up my life.
Nothing is truly a failure if you learn from it. However, part of what I’m learning about the game of life is that not everyone is on the same level as you. You have to allow people to level up in their own way, in their own time, through their own experiences. Sometimes that means paths have to diverge. Sometimes that means getting put in with new teams. Sometimes that means you’re the only one at your level for a while. The point is to never give up, to always keep trying and to believe in yourself and your ability to play the game and play it well.
This is life and I’m living it. Are you?