My topic of the day is “A mistake that helped me grow”. Not exactly a topic I’m excited about. I mean, who wants to go shouting about their mistakes to the world?
I’ve decided to be courageous and talk about my mistake and how it helped me grow because I know that everyday, people make mistakes. Hopefully they also learn from them and grow as well.
I’m going to talk about “Poverty Mentality”. So, several years ago when my kids were little my best friend took a risk and told me one day that I was teaching my kids to have a poverty mentality and that I needed to stop and fix their ideas about money and finances. To say that I wasn’t angry would be an outright lie. I was pissed! I was beyond pissed but then I really spent some time thinking about her words.
She was right.
I was teaching my children to think in a poverty state of mind and once I realized I was doing it I set about changing my own perception and attitude so I could change my children’s as well. It was no easy task but I spent a long time, several years in fact, working on this and I have to say that it made a profound impact on myself, my spouse and our kids.
I had been teaching my kids poverty mentality by saying things like, “We can’t afford that….” and “there isn’t enough….”. I was teaching them to see themselves as victims to circumstances. To believe that struggle was the only way to live. I was teaching them to live from fear. Talk about feeling like a failure as a parent.
So….I started saying things like, “We can get that later, just not at this moment” and “Let’s figure out how we can create this as a possibility”. I watched all my negative speaking and only allowed myself to speak positively in front of my kids. To come from a place of empowerment and love instead of fear. Positive words and affirmations didn’t miraculously change my life but it changed my attitude about life which allowed me to be open to opportunities and that changed my life.
It was the hardest thing I’ve ever done and to be honest….I didn’t realize how much my family had changed until a couple of years ago when I had an opportunity to be around a family that was “Poverty Mentality” focused and I literally found myself remembering feeling like they did, coming from the same place as they were but I couldn’t go back to that place and I wanted so badly to shake them and make them see that life could be so different if they were willing to change their mindset.
Choosing change is never easy and as I said, it took years to fix the damage I had done but change is worth it in the end and a better life for my family was more than worth it.