She’s on my mind today. The one who I shared the depths of my soul with. Her, the one that I thought would be there forever. The one who was most beloved and now on a good day would be considered a friend. Most of the time she is more of an aquaintance and on the worst of days she is naught but a stranger. We are thousands of miles away from each other and yet there are days, like today, that I feel as if she is right here beside me and no matter the distance between us the memories of closeness wrap around me like a second skin. Memories of golden skin that turns to warm caramel in the heat of the sun, rich brown hair with golden streaks that curl to her shoulder. I can see her engaging smile that enticed people to feel comfortable and at ease with her. I can hear her laughter and see those beautiful eyes light with her mirth. Sheis tall and svelte, curvy in all the places that made men drawn to her like bees to honey. She, the one who I opened up the most private core of my soul to and found that she saw the real me, the truth of who I am as a person and called me friend anyway. Her,that I put on a pedestal and believed that she would never hurt me or betray our friendship. She that I absolute faith in. I feel her presence with me today as surely as if she was standing here in front of me. I miss her, my one time best friend, my soul sister and confidante. Unforeseen circumstances eroded our friendship from the very foundation. I found myself staring into the eyes of a stranger. A stranger that I used to know so well. I fought for purchase on the crumbling grounds of what I believed to be real only to discover that it was all an illusion. She was not who I thought her to be and she believed things of me that could not believed if she had really seen me and understood the core of who I was…she had deceived me and now six years later I still miss her. I still wait in the hopes that some day I will look upon the face that I loved so deeply and see the light of recognition again in those eyes. Someday I will reconnect with her, my beloved friend, and know peace of heart and mind and soul again. She is on my mind today.
July 26, 2008