I receive this from Brian Johnson, Philosopher, and I love the imagery. It reminds me that no matter what is going on in the world…it is the inner world that I should focus on to create real and lasting change in my personal universe.

“In every forest, on every farm, in every orchard on earth, it’s what’s under the ground that creates what’s above the ground. That’s why placing your attention on the fruits that you have already grown is futile. You cannot change the fruits that are already hanging on the tree. You can, however, change tomorrow’s fruits. But to do so, you will have to dig below the ground and strengthen the roots.” ~ T. Harv Eker from Secrets of the Millionaire Mind

Currently watching Pineapple Express….and the foremost question is…why?

Anyone else feeling like they have too many social networks and not enough time to manage them all? Check out Ping.fm! Loving it!

It’s been quite awhile since I’ve posted a blog. My life has been chaotic and whipping out of control since my last post. It’s probably not just coincidence that I haven’t blogged and feel so disconnected. I’ve been working on pulling myself out of the doldrums and getting my focus back. I have almost four weeks to get my life organized again and develop a plan of action to move forward with. January 1, 2009 I intend to start the year with a clear head, clear heart and focused spiritual direction. I guess this is where I can start…telling it like it is so I can release and let go and move forward toward a positive direction in my life.

Have you ever hit a wall…emotionally and the next thing you know you are wildly swinging on an emotional pendulum? Most likely the thing that has brought you into emotional turmoil is really the proverbial “straw that broke the camels back”. It seems like nothing from an intellectual point of view but your emotions are screaming that you just need to give in to the emotional chaos suddenly pouring through you.

Well today, a few moments ago…that is me, my experience and now here I sit writing this blog to try and get over the rapidly tumbling emotions so my poor husband doesn’t have to go to bed with a crying, nuerotic mess. Not that I would ever use those words to describe me 99.5% of the time. For the most part I’m pretty grounded.

I don’t feel like I’m crazy but to have lost it over such an insignificant thing (which I won’t go into) is more embarrasing than anything else. But a realization that maybe a particular thing about myself might not ever change regardless of how hard I try hit me so hard tonight that I can’t keep the tears away. Its something I’ve always said I wanted changed about myself but in the face of the truth of it I find myself not sure I am strong enough emotionally for the journey of change.  

Four days ago I heard someone speak about the fact that people need to accept the truth of who we really are or where we are in life before we can really accomplish change. You have to be okay with where you are, who you are without judgement or excuses of any kind in order to become something else. Well this is a big moment of seeing the truth and not being sure that I can accept myself without judgement.

Why is it so hard to not judge, not to make excuses for why I am in the situation? No one created this but me. So if I created it why can’t I un-create it? Why does the thought of that scare me? Why does the thought of not being able to change this one thing about myself scare me too? And God help, where do I go from here?

Ever woken up and started going through your day and realized that one word can define your entire day? For some that word might be happy, angry, frustrated, excitement….the list could go on as long as we have adjectives to use.

Today and through the last few days that word has been flexibility for me. It has applied to evertything from gaining flexibility through our Wii Fit to being flexible about what we are eating for dinner. I’m not sure if I am just aware of the word so I see how it applies to just about everything lately or if it’s a message that I needed to get a hold of for this moment in time. Either way it has been quite an education.

I’ve had to just be flexible and go with the flow when an employee “pushed an issue” that riled up my feathers so to speak. I had to be flexible again when another employee asked to bring their baby to work…not that I minded that but still it required flexibility. I had to be flexible and drive a different vehicle to work today so my son could use my car today.

Being flexible is s good thing. Being too rigid about life is asking for trouble. Letting go and going with the flow seems to be the much wiser course of action although I wouldn’t say it is the easier path to walk. Some times it takes that brief moment of hesitation to stop and think about how I am handling a situation before I chose the course of flexibility but at least I am aware that I am making the choice.

Flexibility doesn’t mean being a doormat and letting everyone walk all over you either. It means being strong like a tree that bends in the wind or like a river that flows over and around the obstacles in its path. Flexibility is choosing to work with what you have been given and finding a way to meet everyone’s needs including your own. I’ve decided that I really like the word flexible and I’m looking forward to seeing what other words come along and make a real impression on me.

Creativity is simply the expression of the soul put into a physical medium. Sounds great doesn’t it? Sounds like it should be easy right? Well I can’t tell you how many people I come across who don’t think they are creative people, myself included with exception to writing. So my general musing for the day is why do we all deny being creaive people? Everyone has a spark of creativity within them. It is the people who fan the flames of that spark that define themselves as creative. We – you and me – we are creative in so many different ways. Some are crative with numbers, some with sciences, some with history or language and most definately there are the ones who are creative with the arts.

I attended BizJam 08 last week and when I did I was given a name badge that signified me as a “Creative”. I can’t even begin to tell you how much that altered my perception of my self. For two days, for twenty hours, people recognized me and responded to me as a highly creative person because of my job. I know I need a certain amount of creativity on the job but in that capacity it just seems to be part of what I do but ask me if I am creative and I’ll tell you no. I have several friends that argue with me over that very issue. However, that time, in that place, did something to me on a very personal level. I realized that if other people saw me as creative and I chose to operate under the title of creative that I found out I felt comfortable with the designation.

Can I go out and paint a masterpiece? No. However I know that I do have something creative to offer the world. Perhaps my creativity comes more in the form of writing or more in the form of seeing organization where others don’t or coming up with creative solutions for other people but I am creative and I am willing to bet that each living breathing human out there has the same spark of creativity just waiting to be embraced. If we each make the choice to fan the flame of creativity in our lives then together we might be able to change the world with one creative idea after another.